Post by 8souleater8 on Jun 6, 2011 18:23:21 GMT -5
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “in.”
5. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”
6. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat—with a serious face.
7. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9 Don t use any punctuation
10. Sing along at the opera.
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
14. Have your friends address you by your wrestling name: Rock Bottom.
15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
16. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose!”
17. Open your purse and ask "Got enough air in there?"
18. put a stuffed monkey on your shoulder and call people names, then say it was your monkey or that you were talking to your monkey
19. Go to wal-mart and ask one of the employees where you can buy some walls.
20. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
21. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
22. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"
23. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
24. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
25. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky". "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Sport."
26. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
27. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
28. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."
29. Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
30. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
31. Insist that your e-mail address be: zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com
32. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask him/her to settle the disagreement.
33. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
34. Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many."
35. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
36. Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.
37. For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth.
38. Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
39. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
40. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
41. Use, too...much; punctuation!
42. Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
43. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies. (warning: you can get arrested for this, but that can be instructive too)
44. Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
45. Every time you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here"
46. UsE RAnDoM cAPiTaliZaTiON iN EvEryTHiNg YOu wrITe
47. Slap the boss's face every time he interrupts your afternoon nap.
48. Pee on your office door, your desk or your cubicle and growl at anyone that comes near.
49. Follow delivery men around in pure James Bond style, but make it very obvious.
50. Persistantly call your bosses 'sweetcheeks' and wink at them in front of everyone.
51. Whenever you answer the phone, do so in a french accent, and slowly change it to a japanese accent.
52. Belch loudly over the intercom, then ask if anyone wants to hear a fart.
53. When the boss starts talking to you, open and drink a bottle of ketchup.
54. Put those hole reinforcing circles on the center of you eyeglasses. Now go to that executive meeting.
55. Turn your monitor facing the wall, if anyone asks what you're doing, say that this is the most interesting side of the monitor
56. Have races in the corridors with chairs that don't have wheels on them
57. Hold open automatic doors for people.
58. Threaten to jump out of a ground floor window.
59. Bring empty crisps and buscuit packets and sandwich bag to work in your packed lunch box and pretend to eat it. Make sure the wrappers are different each day, you need variety in life.
60. Replace the mouse with a real mouse.
61. Delibrately get colleagues names wrong.
62. Ask at a newsagent if they will read the paper to you or at least give you the general jist of it.
63. Eat stink bombs before french kissing.
64. Drive to work and walk back.
65. Ask to borrow a pencil, snap it infront of their face, then point at the car park and ask which one is theirs.
66. End all sentences with ".co.uk".
67. Play bagpipes in meetings.
68. Go to an interview, act like your the interviewer.
69. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
70. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
71. While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
72. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
73. Poke holes in the bottoms of all the styraphome coffee cups in the break room.
74. Run one lap around the office at top speed.
75. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
76. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it.”
77. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to in your office as “Bob.”
78. After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent (as in, “The report is on your desk, Mon”).
79. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two.”
80. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
81. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem.
82. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
83. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, “Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
84. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
85. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “You wanna trade?”
86. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
87. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
88. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
89. Say random things in the middle of sentences.
90. Answer 42 to everything
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “in.”
5. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”
6. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat—with a serious face.
7. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9 Don t use any punctuation
10. Sing along at the opera.
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
14. Have your friends address you by your wrestling name: Rock Bottom.
15. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
16. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “run for your lives, they’re loose!”
17. Open your purse and ask "Got enough air in there?"
18. put a stuffed monkey on your shoulder and call people names, then say it was your monkey or that you were talking to your monkey
19. Go to wal-mart and ask one of the employees where you can buy some walls.
20. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
21. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
22. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Sexual Favors"
23. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
24. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
25. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky". "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Sport."
26. Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing. For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
27. "Hi-lite" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes since you did this.
28. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."
29. Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
30. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
31. Insist that your e-mail address be: zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com or Elvis_the_King@companyname.com
32. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask him/her to settle the disagreement.
33. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
34. Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many."
35. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
36. Decorate your office with pictures of Cindy Brady and Danny Partridge. Try to pass them off as your children.
37. For a relaxing break, get away from it all with a mask and snorkel in the fish tank. If no one notices, take out your snorkel and see how many you can catch in your mouth.
38. Send e-mail messages saying free pizza, free donuts etc... in the lunchroom, when people complain that there was none... Just lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."
39. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
40. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
41. Use, too...much; punctuation!
42. Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
43. Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies. (warning: you can get arrested for this, but that can be instructive too)
44. Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in your head that do."
45. Every time you see a broom yell "Honey, your mother is here"
46. UsE RAnDoM cAPiTaliZaTiON iN EvEryTHiNg YOu wrITe
47. Slap the boss's face every time he interrupts your afternoon nap.
48. Pee on your office door, your desk or your cubicle and growl at anyone that comes near.
49. Follow delivery men around in pure James Bond style, but make it very obvious.
50. Persistantly call your bosses 'sweetcheeks' and wink at them in front of everyone.
51. Whenever you answer the phone, do so in a french accent, and slowly change it to a japanese accent.
52. Belch loudly over the intercom, then ask if anyone wants to hear a fart.
53. When the boss starts talking to you, open and drink a bottle of ketchup.
54. Put those hole reinforcing circles on the center of you eyeglasses. Now go to that executive meeting.
55. Turn your monitor facing the wall, if anyone asks what you're doing, say that this is the most interesting side of the monitor
56. Have races in the corridors with chairs that don't have wheels on them
57. Hold open automatic doors for people.
58. Threaten to jump out of a ground floor window.
59. Bring empty crisps and buscuit packets and sandwich bag to work in your packed lunch box and pretend to eat it. Make sure the wrappers are different each day, you need variety in life.
60. Replace the mouse with a real mouse.
61. Delibrately get colleagues names wrong.
62. Ask at a newsagent if they will read the paper to you or at least give you the general jist of it.
63. Eat stink bombs before french kissing.
64. Drive to work and walk back.
65. Ask to borrow a pencil, snap it infront of their face, then point at the car park and ask which one is theirs.
66. End all sentences with ".co.uk".
67. Play bagpipes in meetings.
68. Go to an interview, act like your the interviewer.
69. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
70. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".
71. While riding an lift, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
72. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
73. Poke holes in the bottoms of all the styraphome coffee cups in the break room.
74. Run one lap around the office at top speed.
75. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
76. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk about it.”
77. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to in your office as “Bob.”
78. After every sentence, say ‘Mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent (as in, “The report is on your desk, Mon”).
79. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a number two.”
80. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
81. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem.
82. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
83. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, “Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
84. Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.
85. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, “You wanna trade?”
86. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God as my witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
87. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
88. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"
89. Say random things in the middle of sentences.
90. Answer 42 to everything